I will be
short this week. There is a lot going on and honestly I didn´t have much time
left to think and read and surely I do not have enough of it now to expand on
things that happened. But if I look back on last week, I could say, it has been
reeking of the past. Maybe reeking is a wrong word to use, but we all know how
past can be haunting and sometimes “reek”
is the only word capable of describing its emotional impact. It grasps the smell
of regret and sorrow, weeping over years long gone, that remind us of growing
old. Inevitably reaching the ending point we all are destined to meet. But
sometimes, past can be fun to think of, bringing joy and sweet remembrance of
the things that made this life worth living. However, sometimes these exact
things can cause the previously mentioned bunch of “bad stuff”. May it be the
latter or the first, one thing is undeniable. Past is long gone and it only
exist in our memory. And this is what I got curious to talk about.
I am not
interested in memory as such. We all know what it is. We all have it. For some
it would be better to selectively forget it, for some that are suffering from
its loss, the only wish is to regain it. Memory has this special sadistic
personality to itself. It initiates a chain reaction of whatever one recalls.
Once it starts, it is like Pandora´s box that should never have been opened in
the first place. Memories of memories resurfacing one after another and
sometimes even all at once. It would all be great, if the memories were nice,
ironically this mostly happens, when one remembers embarrassment; something one
pushes back, in order to forget. Then, it takes a great disciplinary act to
shut it down. I found it helps, if I say LA-LA-LA aloud. This shoves them off
quite successfully.
You can only imagine what kind of memories would be flashing through my mind, if I told you I had my class reunion last Saturday. Well, you would guess wrong. I was amazed how things that once put distance between us, were the exact things that brought us closer over time and space. What I found amazing was, that memory is the only real connection we will ever have. And I had one of the best times of my life.
