Of Coelho, mistakes and other entrapments of your own wisdom.

I am reading Paulo Coelho´s Aleph. The latest book. The one, that is supposed to be semi autobiographical. I have not yet finished it. To be precise, I have just started, not even 30 pages turned, but I got annoyed so many times already, that I have sincere doubts I will ever finish it. I guess I will, because I rarely let things go after I decided to do them. However, after those few pages reading it, my mind got stirred and a flow of thoughts ran through it preventing me to stay focused at all. I took an honest look to what was going on.

Once I have been writing here about change explaining my point of view. I found support in psychology and pure observation of life´s actions. I said that people do not change. The only thing subject to a change is deteriorating, ever decaying, ever rearranging, ever expanding and always interacting world of Nature ruled by Entropy. So yes, people do change in that sense, but psychologically? No. In their core, people stay the same. What changes, are adopted behavioral patterns. Things we learn along the way. But now, I suddenly found myself in a place, where I cannot but use this term. It describes well what happened to me.  I have simply changed. I am no longer the same Dejan I was 10 years ago, when I devoured Coelho´s books for breakfast.  That will sound really terrible, but I have to ask myself, did I simply outgrow Coelho?

Of shame, sefishness and other objects embedded in our brain.

First I would like to apologize for posting this late in the week. There were some weird tiny creatures sweeping the valley that coined me to my bed. I honestly did not feel like writing anything at all. What I did, however, was watching Community - all the seasons; 3 of them to be precise.  Needless to say, I loved the show. I haven´t given it a chance before, but I am pretty sure you all know of it already, so I do not want to spend any time on its premise and meta-humor it uses. I came to realize there is a pattern pervading my life. I usually get to know new stuff (to me) long after everybody else have got over the hype already. In a way I am like the MEME character Slowpoke, who seems to suffer the same condition. I actually do not mind being like that at all. I like to let things enter my life when they do, instead of constantly following trends of what is going on right now. There is so much information that I find useless on internet and so many shows that never reach the level of intelligence I like to be intrigued by or music that is plain simple copy paste sex sales attitude assemblage that I do wholeheartedly cherish the oblivion I live in sometimes.

However, there was something exclusively rare in Community that moved me, what other sitcoms tend to ignore. There was a moment of insight without any hint of sarcasm, irony or auto irony that I generally love. There was an insight that moved me so much, I had to stop and re-watch it 3 times just so that I could write down the monologue Jeff (a self-obsessed smartass character in it) had. It spoke to me about connection. A Connection to oneself rather than to each other.