Of love, being in love and other mistakes we need to make.

Summer has arrived. Finally! It is 35 degrees in shadows and somewhere around 40 in my room, where I keep the iron running in order to guarantee impeccable garments. It has been strange, this year, so far. The usual transitions between seasons were blurred with weather´s strange behavior. Summer, spring and autumn have all been mixed together from February on. Now summer is here, however spring has been kind of missing. Not so much in the weather-like sense, as in the awakening of body and soul that accompanies it. Normally in spring I get all fired up with energy and when I see trees bloom I start to bloom within myself as well. I fall in love with Life. This year, the grey and the cold rain made me less open to emotionally glow. On the opposite, I was quite bitter and with energy level so low that I thought sometimes I would not survive the day.

It happened to me this week that a certain feeling was evoked in me. A feeling long forgotten. Actually, a feeling missed. I felt, as if I was in love. Pheromones, hormones, basic horniness...call it whatever, it was there and it still keeps in going. So I started to think about it. About love. Not only love for a particular person, but love, you know, the omnipresent one. The one we all like to talk about, but mix it the former one. I gave it a thought, deciding if I should write about this subject I have been avoiding for some time, although, I believe it has always subliminally underlined every sentence I wrote since the beginning. So I sat down and started to read a book I just bought titled: “Celebration of silence” by his holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Since I do not believe in destiny, I shall call it a purposeful coincidence, be as it may, I opened it on the pages discussing love. And here are my thoughts he provoked.

Of abilities, decisions and other misconceptions of love.

I wanted to talk about misinterpretations and taking responsibility for interpretations others make of us. Well, I changed my mind. I do not want to sound grim or defensive. There will be time for that when emotions subside and situations grow colder. Instead I have something more festive to talk about, Love. Yup, love again. But you have to admit, that is the sole subject that can never be discussed enough, plus it always invites people's dreamy expression on their faces. And how could one ignore that happiness? 

So many of you have asked me privately, what was going on with me and my status updates/reports on Facebook. Why the culinary titles of my insights as pieces of beef? Well, it started as simple posting of the excerpts from my conversations with my new found (and lost) love interest, but it soon became something more, a project. I will not describe it yet, but it has a point. However, it slowly moved from what is on the outside into inner perceptions. My beef, my love, my rules, my decisions!

I know I have been talking about love on two or more occasions. I was somehow detached from the subject matter, though. This is actually what I am trying to do here. To take things from my private life and lift myself above it to get the better perspective of how I think things work. This time, I am personal. Not because I have any secret agenda. No, this time I am personal, because the message could not be more insightful to me. Let me explain.

Of shame, sefishness and other objects embedded in our brain.

First I would like to apologize for posting this late in the week. There were some weird tiny creatures sweeping the valley that coined me to my bed. I honestly did not feel like writing anything at all. What I did, however, was watching Community - all the seasons; 3 of them to be precise.  Needless to say, I loved the show. I haven´t given it a chance before, but I am pretty sure you all know of it already, so I do not want to spend any time on its premise and meta-humor it uses. I came to realize there is a pattern pervading my life. I usually get to know new stuff (to me) long after everybody else have got over the hype already. In a way I am like the MEME character Slowpoke, who seems to suffer the same condition. I actually do not mind being like that at all. I like to let things enter my life when they do, instead of constantly following trends of what is going on right now. There is so much information that I find useless on internet and so many shows that never reach the level of intelligence I like to be intrigued by or music that is plain simple copy paste sex sales attitude assemblage that I do wholeheartedly cherish the oblivion I live in sometimes.

However, there was something exclusively rare in Community that moved me, what other sitcoms tend to ignore. There was a moment of insight without any hint of sarcasm, irony or auto irony that I generally love. There was an insight that moved me so much, I had to stop and re-watch it 3 times just so that I could write down the monologue Jeff (a self-obsessed smartass character in it) had. It spoke to me about connection. A Connection to oneself rather than to each other.