Maybe it is time for me to accept the truth
that I am not disciplined enough a person to hold up to my own expectations of
posting regularly. Maybe it is also the right time to admit it to myself that having something to say is different
than having to say something. I am my
own worst enemy when I place deadlines and pose systems on my fluctuating life.
Nothing I do is planed, nothing is done by force. So I quit apologizing and
commence seizing the moment of inspiration instead. There it goes.
I have mentioned Ego before and I will mention
it many times to come, but I am not ready to talk about it yet. However, what I
want to talk about is loosely linked to it. What really grinds my gears (wink
to you, Peter Griffin) is men worshipping other men, or women for that matter.
Actually, what makes me wonder is worshipping of any kind. I am not interested
in why this has been a long lived practice. There are studies done about that
and I am not an expert in that matter. All I know is my own little world and
the awareness of the effects experiences have on my Self. I am also not
interested in arguing why that practice would be wrong or finding proofs that
it might be right. But most of all, I am not trying to change anyone´s opinion
or persuade anyone to stop believing what one believes. I live by the code be
and let be. I have no problem with that. However I do have one simple question
that is repeatedly surfacing my wide ocean of conscience: What is wrong with notion that people are just that, people?
I had problems with my back recently, so I
spent almost two months lying on the floor not being able to stand, let alone
walk. To make things worse, sciatica nerve got inflamed, thus preventing me
from enjoying things I normally enjoy. Even lying was somewhat painful and when
I found a comfortable position, I stuck to it for as long as I could. I do not
need to mention I spent most of the time watching movies. When I got fed up
with fairy tales, I looked for something more real. I found documentaries. So
it happened I stumbled upon BBC2´s Louis Theroux´s weird weekends. Heard of it?
Now you have!
There is this very handsome gawky guy
(subjective notion) named Louis that shamelessly puts himself into positions, one
would not normally be able to keep a straight face in, and he does that with
wit and intelligence. In that particular episode he went to India in search of
The Guru. I will not summarize it. Go and watch it. For the sake of argument,
however, I will mention the basics. He visited four different places with four
different Gurus each having their special thing that they do. One was helping
you with screaming and jumping, the other was giving you hugs, the third one
was materializing necklaces out of the air and the fourth taught bliss through
chanting, not necessarily in that particular order. The sense of mocking in
previous sentence is merely coincidental. They all shared their wisdom of life
through mechanisms they personally know work.
They all had noble intentions of
sharing and teaching selflessness and love. One knowledge, many ways. No
challenge with that. They all taught ego is the main cause of suffering in the
world. No challenge in that either. They all had tens of thousands or millions
of followers that treated them as God´s manifestation on this Earth. Huge
challenge in that. I mean, any notion of anyone being God´s manifestation poses
a serious problem of human condition to me. I am sincerely worried about the
people´s need to have someone to look up to, someone to worship. I am confused
by people´s need for something greater than themselves and their choice of
other person for that, but not God himself. And to make it clear to you that I
have no personal agendaa against Guru-dom, I am saying that the same thing is present in any kind of
religion, belief or movement around the
world.
Human need for divine or seeing the divine in
the world´s materializations or underlying laws of nature is not what I would
like to challenge here. The roots of it go deep into human psyche. It appears that
it has been present since the very first moment human got conscious of their
own existence. Still, we cannot ignore the fact that the basics of divine are
rooted in wonder such as trying to explain things that made no sense to the
unknowing and freshly awakened conscience of first humans. Thunder,
thunderbolt, earthquakes, fire, rain, times of drought or flood, movement of
celestial objects like stars and sun, gravity, etc. It was easier to take them
as an action of gods than trying to comprehend the simple fluctuation of Earth´s
matter, be that water, earth, fire, air or force. It was even easier for the
self-centered human to see them as punishment or reward for their behavior. All
it took was a single smart man to claim the ability to translate them for a
religion to be born. And even though the ever wondering, but fearful human mind
developed doubt, asking itself fundamental question “Why?” thus giving science
its first opportunity, it was already too late. Fear not to be rewarded, fear to
be punished had already taken its toll.
There was a very special line that Emma
Thompson´s character said in Angels in
America: “With science explaining
everything, there is not much space left for God.” Science pushed the realm
of godly actions way back to where almost nothing remained. Everything we
connected with god´s action got explained. But then there was Love. God was
love. That seemed to be the only thing human could perceive as godly. Now it seems god
is also behind strange behavior of quantum physics. Everything else was and is what
it is. The occurrences were only nature´s way to maintain balance. Not even
that. They were entwined in an endless dance of cause and consequence and nothing
more.
Then wise people came -the enlightened ones. They were the true
descendants of first people that claimed to understand the language of God.
Only this time, they did not try to explain anything; they tried to awaken the
clouded mind of still fearful disciples. When I take an honest look over
millennia of different religions, there is similarity to each and single one.
They teach love. But really, what is there to teach? If god is love, then what
are we? God may be love, but we make it. We feel it. We share it. Doesn´t that
make us gods? What is more, isn´t that exactly what all these newagey movements
teach? They give us different tools to get to that primordial state of pure
existence in harmony for which ego-less and love-full conscience is needed.
Again same knowledge and different ways. Do we then really need any godly
manifestation, any kind of worshipping? Do we need God?
Do we really need Ganges to be sacred? Do we
need necklaces being materialized from air? Do we need hugs from one person to
be more sacred than hugs from anyone else? Do we need Christ in bread? Do we
need Immaculate Conception and resurrection? Do we need laws that prohibit this
and demand that? Do we need to believe that Guru´s voice is some kind of
special vibration that is reminiscent of God? Do we need to feel gratitude for
his loving us or teaching us, when that is exactly what he was supposedly sent
to the world to do? Do we need his picture, or a picture of any prophet for
that matter, hanging in our room, asking them to give us strength to maintain
the balance we are in? Isn´t the mere knowledge and experience of bliss we once
had enough to try to revoke it? If all religions or beliefs teach us that god
is in us, that love is the way, that ego is suffering, why do we feel
incompetent to achieve that on our own after we have been given the knowledge
through experience? If awareness of one´s actions and their consequences on
other people is all that is needed to act in consideration and love, then why
do we need strength from anyone?
We are presented with choice in every single
action we take. Deciding to act upon anything with the risk of stepping out
from our comfort zone is the strength. To choose to act righteously and morally
is strength. Being love is not the same as sharing it. And if that is all there
is to quality living, what will change, if we let nature be all that it really
is, nature and human just human?
Science has explained almost everything on the
macro level with the micro level remaining elusive. The world has become
smaller and there is less space for godly in it. In this world, with all the
knowledge of how things work, it seems as a regressive step into dark ages,
when we believe in someone that openly claims to perform miracles or gives
touch that lifts you closer to god. What becomes of teachings of Jesus, if we
take away his god-ness, his resurrection, his immaculate conception? Why isn´t
accepting his wisdom enough? Why is making him human such a slap in the face? Why
is the belief in the eternal more important than the passing? Why is Karma an
adequate explanation of your current state? And why is accepting one´s fate
more noble thing to do than making a change? I guess reasons go deep, but
still, I wonder, how much manipulation and lust for control have to do with
them.
If we ARE more than bodies, if we ARE eternal,
if god IS real, if afterlife IS waiting for us, that fact won´t be any less of
a fact, if we take this life as a gift that ends, when we end - that when we
die, nothing would be there. How does my belief in anything change its factual
state? How has our disbelief ever changed anything about the factual existence?
If afterlife is real, then when I die I will be standing there as a fool.
However, I am sure God wouldn´t punish me for not believing in him or afterlife.
After all, God is Love and Love does not punish. People do. Love accepts and
allows. Love understands and does not pity. Love does not laugh at my mishaps,
but embraces them. For it does not care. Not at all. If god exists, it exists
on his own terms and his own motivations. He simpl is. He does not need human to voice his
will. He wills humans to voice their needs and let his alone. He is god for
god´s sake. Why are we humanizing him?
I have written so many IF´s in this post it
makes me want to vomit. There is too much uncertainty in this world. I guess
that is the perfect ground on which belief can flourish. Add to it fear from
dying and you got yourself a crowd to follow. Promise them answers and you got
the money.
I do not care, if there is afterlife or god or
if I am more than human or a godly creature. The same as I do not care for
opinions, subjective judgments, political division of the world or people who
claim their version of truth to be the right one. What I do know is that little
certainty I have in this presumptuous world. I have this beating heart in my
chest, the conscience of my Self and the awareness of my existence. I am alive.
Now. I have this moment in which I determine the future´s course. And I will do
everything in my power not to hurt anyone and lead a peacefully unpretentious
life. But most of all, I am human like everyone else. And I whole heartedly
refuse to worship anyone or anything. To me, worshipping is a subtle manifestation of
Ego, too. See, they (the Gurus) are not the ones that claim to be Gods. It is the
people that develop worship-dom. The Gurus do not trouble themselves with that,
they are the enlightened ones. They claim to accept it as a consequence, as a
result, but not as an aim. Well, some do. They are only human after all. And
human has ambition.
A truly enlightened person would share the
knowledge and then take care of it. He would not let the knowledge deteriorate and
take the turn for the profit. He would not look down from his bliss. He would
not be detached from the suffering of his followers that they need to go
through to receive wisdom, with an excuse that he´s above it all. That is
simply irresponsible. A truly enlightened person would say: “I thank you for
praising me. That is really kind of you, but that is not what I meant. You got
it all wrong.”
And there is that.
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