Remember how I like to say “life just happens”? Good for you,
because I tend to forget it, especially in times, when everything seems to
tumble downwards in a slow-mo. On days like that, I like to stay curled up in
bed with only one arm sticking out scrolling down on 9gag or Facebook and
feeling a certain sense of accomplishment, if I “like” and “comment” the stuff
others do. It is like I am doing a good selfless work by noticing their effort.
Actually, it is not that I forgot about it.
More, I choose to ignore it. I seem to not being able to will myself out of bed.
Not being able to will a different action my brain sees as a solution. No matter
how strong the reasons might be, no matter how logic and to the ground they
are, I just do not want to succumb to it. It feels as if I am having a smarter
version of myself inside who, like on court, presents me with evidence that
support the suggestion. What a fruitless job it has indeed, for I already know I
will shush it and do as pleased, always supporting my reasons to continue to
feel miserable. Ego needs that sometimes. Sometimes, I say!
My yogi master says: “It is the way it is. Accept it and go on!", but my father has way greater
response to those occasional complaints about how much life sucks sometimes. He
says: “Dejan, life is just what you make
it!” And I hate it when he does that. It hurts because he is right.
It is true. Life is what we make it. Not the
emotional connotations, but the factual description of a given situation. Life
is our actions. We make our life, life does not make us. Of course, sometimes
we are forced to act a certain way, because situations demand that from us. What
is more, we are placed into a System in which certain behavioral ways are
expected. We cannot always do what we want. But I am not talking about those
situations. I am talking about situations we create with actions that are based
exclusively on our own decision making. On our free will.
