Of spontaneous inspiration, the context and other useless plastics

Of unpredictability, probability and other abilites

My friend once told me a wise line: Worry about the stuff you can control. I was in a state where I tried to surf my way through life, trying to push situations so that their outcome would be beneficial for me. I tried too hard sometimes, bringing myself to experience powerlessness and confusion. His words struck me. Not only because it was a revelation I´d known of before and not followed it, but because he was right there saying it with such ease and he was 19. He still remains one of the most down to earth people in my life.

I immediately stopped what I was doing. It was surprising how easily I just let go of the situation and let Life take its course. For that is precisely what that is. Life.  When I remember it now, I recall the situation surrounded with friction. In that instant I realized I was trying to squeeze a camel through needle´s ear. I knew I was pushing it, but I needed to hear it too. So, it got me thinking then, how much of our life we have control over. We humans, we are control freaks. We have those dreams, wishes, ambitions and visions of how our life should turn out like. We act upon those and lots of times we struggle, experiencing loss of faith in ourselves and that, by itself, is already a turn downwards on to the path of self doubt. I was there and I found huge relief in realization there is not a single Thing I can control. It all succumbs to the law of unpredictability.

Of time, space and other delicious slices

As an artist or, let´s say, a creative person, I derive all of my inspiration from Physics and Mathematics, which allows me to find new ways to compose my designs or find the scientific reason for them to be the way they are. This has been working for me so far and it feels like an “it has to be that way”. I found out early in my beginnings not to fight the outcome but to accept it, to allow the garments to happen the way they want, to let textile shape the way it feels. One could easily say I follow some kind of destiny´s touch (whereas I see it more as an unpredictability ´s touch). This is interesting to me, because I refuse to believe in Destiny, but my refusal does not work as a proof of its non existence. One wise monk of satanistic movement said: “If you believe in God, than you have to believe in Devil.” Or to quote the movie Constantine when Rachel Weiss said: “I do not believe in Devil!” to which Constantine responded: “Well, you better start, because he surely believes in you!”

So I was trying to understand where this sense of Destiny comes from, where this feeling of “rightness of moments” comes from; why do I truly believe I was meant to be a designer; why I feel it like my calling. I made it clear in the previous blog entry about Destiny when I said we people find a simple way that unwinds itself to this very point only when looking back. It feels as if we had been led by a careful hand to this very moment of our life. True, I found out. Something does lead us. But it is not Destiny. It seems to me that it has all already happened.” 

of power of thought, red Golfs and other realities

Yesterday I was asked a question.  Do I believe in the Law of attraction? I remember holding a book in my hands once called “the secret” and watching the movie with the same title, but I stopped after 10 minutes into it. I remember not thinking too highly of it. I thought it to be too much of a new “New Age” thing for me. I consider myself a person of reason and intuition that does not easily follow any esoteric path someone comes up with. That is a gray area where no one is right or wrong. There is nothing that can be proved and nothing that can be simply dismissed. I respect that. It does not work for me, however. It is not that I need proof of its working, but I need convincing that is “real life” based. And when I say real life, I mean Reality on an objective level. I like to imagine I am able to lift myself up and observe the situation as a whole and not being blinded by simple desire or need to be important or to matter.  So let me elaborate on this.
 

I let my friends give me the proper summary of it. What they basically said was: “What you think happens.” And that, in itself, is the issue I just simply cannot accept. The thing with this is the illusion of possessing the actual Power to change Reality. In Zen Buddhism a simple line sums the Reality: Life is. So, Things happen. Reality is what it is. Surely we influence reality just by being present; we certainly do cause things to happen. I am causing something right now, sitting in the bar having a tea and enjoying my morning rolled cigarette. I do not know what I am causing by that, but had I not been doing it, we would have been talking about completely different Universe.  But to change it?